Three Little Letters

I’m meeting with my manager this week to discuss my future in the PCU. I initiated it, and since then I’ve been frantically rehearsing how to say what I want to say without sounding ungrateful. The truth is, I’m extremely grateful that they gave me a shot and took me under their wing and I couldn’t have asked for a better group of co-workers to train me. So I want to make sure I get that across. But here are my other key “talking points”…

  • These headaches have always been at least partially stress-related, and the fact that they have increased in frequency and intensity over the past month (during a break from school, no less) signals something to me about how I am coping with my job. I think I was more stressed about it than even I realized. But my body is trying to tell me something and I need to listen.
  • I have enormous respect for the work that critical care nurses do. No wonder I learned so much in 5 months! I just don’t think that I personally am a good fit for this specialty, for a variety of reasons. There was no way for me to know this going in, since I had no previous exposure in school. We took a leap of faith together.
  • They reassured me in my job interview that they know it doesn’t always work out for one reason or another, but in those cases, they don’t just toss you out on the street. So what happens next? Do they help me find a position elsewhere in the system? Do I have some say in where or do they simply send me to Med-Surg without another word? I’m not opposed to Med-Surg; I just want to make sure the lines of communication are open along the way.

In the meantime, I’ve continued applying outside for jobs, just in case this meeting goes down in flames. I submitted for a couple of intriguing public health positions, both in the clinic and in the community, and the recruiter called me mere hours later, raving about my life experience and what she thought I could offer once she gets word about her budget and how many RNs she could hire in her clinics. One hiccup with the community public health nursing job that she had currently open – the position requires a BSN, no exceptions. I explained how I have a Bachelor’s degree PLUS the equivalent of a BSN, cajoled, begged for consideration, but no dice. A BSN is a BSN, according to the county health department. My school’s back-asswards curriculum policy strikes again.

I feel like I’m starting over again. With months of valuable experience in my scrubs pocket, but according to the nursing world, I’m still a new grad and it’s tough out there for new grads.

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